Doing the Holidays Non-Diet Style

Eat regularly throughout the day 

It’s not uncommon for people to “save” their calories for the holiday meal and skip meals and snacks earlier in the day on a holiday. Our bodies don’t work like this, and there is no “saving” of calories. Skipping meals or limiting your intake around or on the holidays (or anytime!) only confuses your body. This can also set you up for feeling very hungry when you do eventually eat, and can make it harder to be attuned to and/or listen to your fullness cues. In a diet culture where there is already so much confusion around food and eating, we don’t need to fan the flames. Keep in mind, your body has no idea it’s a holiday and that diet culture has created all sorts of rules around what you should/should not eat around the holidays or on the actual holidays. Your body is needing and expecting food just like any other day, and it’s to your benefit to nourish yourself just like (...you guessed it…) any other day! This can help you be more present with friends and loved ones, enjoy the foods you eat, be more satiated, and help keep guilt and shame at bay.

Take time for yourself as needed 

Some of our clients mention that one of the ways holidays can be hard is that they often are asked to spend a lot of time with their families at multiple events, many of which involve food. There can be various reasons this can be stressful - lots of socializing, lots of choices to be made around food, potential for lots of food commentary/talk (we’ll get to this one more later…), and perhaps pressure to eat in a performative way, among others. What can be helpful is to remember that it’s okay to advocate for yourself and opt in to events you feel excited about or want to participate in, and opt out of those you don’t (for any reason). We realize this can be hard in some family situations depending on the dynamics. At the same time, your agency and choosing what works best for you on a holiday is important. If your family is planning to have a few holiday meals and spend the whole day together, for example, are you able to attend some of them, but choose to eat one (or more) of those meals on your own to have some quieter time to yourself? Or maybe there’s a smaller group of loved ones to see instead of attending the larger gathering if you’re needing a change of pace?

Dodging diet and weight talk

Many of us likely have a family member or loved one who we know has a high probability of talking about weight, diets, food (in a moralizing, or “good food”/”bad food”, way), exercise, etc. over the holidays. If you embrace a non-diet culture way of life, any of this can feel upsetting, frustrating, annoying, boring…the list goes on. 

What can you do if you’re facing these types of conversations and want to get away from them? 

• Walk away from diet/weight talk and go to another space, or change the subject entirely - don’t engage!: “Anyway, that movie I saw last week was fascinating! Have you seen any good ones lately?”

• Advocate for yourself and be direct, then divert: “I’d prefer to not talk about weight and diets. Tell me about that trip you took last month - I’d love to hear about it!”

• Inform/educate if the person seems teachable: “I’m learning about getting more attuned to my body in a compassionate way via Intuitive Eating. Have you heard of it?”

• Go in knowing there is a chance that diet and unhelpful food talk will occur: This isn’t a fun thing to think about, and at the same time being a bit prepared might make a helpful difference. In a positive light, is there a family member or friend who will be with you that can serve as a non-diet ally? They can be there to help change the subject, to validate,to bring some levity, and to be a support to you. Diet and weight talk are often very normalized for many people, and remember that doesn’t mean you have to deal with it! 

• Set boundaries where and when you can.

Check any thoughts to “get back on track” (aka, diet) after the holidays

Take morality out of the picture and ditch the good/bad food thinking. Diets take us further away from our body and what it’s trying to tell us. They make us overthink and question everything about what we do and don’t eat. Diets throw off our hunger and fullness cues and reduce our capacity to eat mindfully. If we eat and enjoy our favorite holiday foods but the diet mentality is lurking around the corner, it subtracts the fun from the equation and adds in guilt and shame. No one needs or deserves that, especially when it comes to food and our bodies. There is no real need to “make up for” holiday eating, and if you engage with that line of thinking it will likely only set you up for a rollercoaster of a relationship with food. Who wants to start the New Year that way…?

Get hands on

Help make some of the food - cook or bake some of your favorites. When we get involved, we usually feel more connected to the experience overall and to our values. This can help us stay aligned with enjoying the holiday time rather than treating it as a time for control and then feeling shame or guilt. It can also pivot the focus to spending time with our loved ones and enjoying holiday foods as a part of this, rather than putting all the focus on food, weight, bodies, etc. Don’t want to help with the food part? Maybe there’s another aspect of the holiday time that you want to help with such as decorating, organizing, getting a board game started, or setting the table that feels fun and can bring some enjoyment and ease to the get together(s). 

Holiday time is often busy and can be stressful for various reasons. Decide what you need (and don’t need) to feel your best, to leave space for self-compassion, and to take care of yourself during the holiday season as best you can. If you’d like to talk with a dietitian about support for the holiday time, feel free to reach out, and we’re happy to help!

Written by Sarita Aguirre, MS, RDN, LDN, CEDS-C